Sailing Long Distances

Mazagon and no bullet holes in the walls

The morning awaited me for a new lesson on how to be a relaxed Spaniard. At first glance, the task wasn’t a big one, returning the access card successfully within an hour, not getting into trouble either legally or spiritually, and cast off. I think the challenge is an easy one, sailor or not. Just to clarify the term access card. It’s a piece of plastic, typical credit card’s size, and works by swiping over a small green panel next to the gate you wish to enter. You are not supposed to buy an Aston Martin, and you can’t take over control of the USA army missile program. I went to the marina office and explained a lady on the ground floor my wanton intentions. She spoke reasonably good English, and I took it my wish was understood and willing to be executed. Friendly as she was, she led me to the first floor. A lady was already waiting. As far as I could understand, she explained to her a VIP wants to turn the card, and I don’t want to make him wait, he might write some harsh words. Well, ignore the later. The woman waiting nodded, grumbling. At the counter stood a guy who spoke all the time of rampa, a pile of papers already in hand, and waited for much more the staff member produced. It took a good fifteen minutes until he got what he wanted. In the meantime, I reflected on my life. The good and bad things I did, regretted no training in self-defense in marina offices, asked myself why I didn’t buy the cheap Swedish ‘Glock’ and ammunition offered in the darknet. The guy in front of me reached for his wallet and added a question to the rampa. I memorized the prices of the first twenty shares of the Spanish stock market, just in case the civil servant might ask a trick question. A note in black and white next to the counter drew my intention, released by the government in 1996.
Very freely translated: Anyone who complains about the slow-going work process and speaks up in front of an employee of the administration, behaves impudently or assaults physically, commits a criminal offense.
Notionally I added: anyone who hangs up a sign like this, who knows about the shortcomings and fails to eradicate it, should not be surprised if the customers are pant for karate, a Glock, a Smith and Wesson, and other outstanding work process accelerators.
Hooray, now it was my turn. I put the access card and the receipt of … Read More